The Beeze's Hump Day Hits/Survey

I know Hump Day is almost over...I've been busy...Including doing a little humping...So in the past I have done the Hump Day Survey...Lately I've been doing the Hump Day Hits...So this weeks first question is this...Which should I stick with? The survey of 5-7 questions about whatever, the last question being the most important...(Wink wink!) ...Or the hits which is a couple of quick topics and one important question at the end...

So with all this hype about the big NBA free agent talk, what do think about LeBron...Is he really gonna stay in Cleveland...More and more talking heads are saying they think he's gonna stay in Cleveland...I'm not just talking about the knuckle heads on Cleveland radio...Even the national guys are saying it more and more...I honestly don't know...Hell I don't care, I'm actually sick of hearing about it...So f**k it...Who cares!

So how much of the World Cup have you watched? I've watched none...Another thing I don't care about yet, I'm typing it out here...

Hey, does anyone remember when Gary Cherone was singing for Van Halen?




I was always a Sammy Hagar fan...




On to that pervert Al Gore...Yeah I said it...Do you think Al is GUILTY ? Another LINK on the topic...

Now, on this fine Hump Day...Which of these fine ladies would most like to Hump?


a. Filipa Nunes

b. Laura Leigh

c. Monica Leigh

Read and respond...

Later, The Beeze

Poor Al Gore Justed Wanted to Bust a Nut

I often don't go along with woman who come out a year or two later with accusations against a guy, especially a famous guy, for some type of sexual wrong doing...But after listening to this woman, a massage therapist, talk about about her encounter with Gore...I kinda believe her...I've been to massage therapists...The legit ones and the glorified hooker ones...Based on her account, Al knew how to play the game...That is until the point where she describes him becoming a borderline rapists...

Okay, I couldn't get it to embed, so here's a link... http://www.nypost.com/video?vxSiteId=a89dc16f-1771-485a-8c76-3ebbf3072361&vxChannel=PostUsFeed&vxClipId=1458_977001&vxBitrate=300

Old Al is frisky f**ker huh!?!

Now she may be full of shit...But in my time here on earth, I've learned a few things...1. Most guys are just like me...Horny bastards...Nothing wrong with that, as long as you don't cross certain lines...2. Most of the time when shit like this comes out about a politician, it's true...3. He hasn't denied it...That makes you look guilty...

What do you think...And what's with these dummies leaving stains of chicks clothing...What dolts! Maybe Al should just stick to hugging trees!

Later, The Beeze.

Monday Moaning

As I said on facebook and twitter....

THANK YOU GHANA! Now maybe we have to hear about Soccer anymore! My God am I sick of these suddenly soccer fans out there... Other then that Donovan guy...Name me the U.S. starting 11...You probably didn't even realize it was 11 guys out there...Why don't you tell me again, "There great athletes!" Are they douche bag!?! 'Cause I don't think we'd be seeing any of them playing Football, Hockey, Basketball, or Baseball...But I bet Bo Jackson could have played some f**king soccer...They aren't great athletes...They're great joggers...That's what they do...They jog around the field for 2 hours, with an occasional burst of steam, for a brief scoring chance, that fails...Game over, you wasted 2 hours!

As you can see, I don't like Soccer, and I give ESPN some of the blame...They've made me think about Soccer, the same way I would think about a dick...I don't like it, and I don't want it forced down my throat!

Hell we should just throw in the tweet of the week right here...

JimNorton "While I am bummed we won't win the world cup, at least Americans can go back to hating soccer for the boring sport it is."

Here's another one from Jim Norton, poking fun at himself...

JimNorton "Speaking of unfuckable disasters; a screen cap of me from Red Eye on Fox. http://moby.to/7kmo5b "


Moving on...I've been critical of Baseball, and Cleveland over the past year, or two...Well why stop now?

First I want to touch on the Indians...I've been going through the moves GM mark Shapiro has made...He's moving into the President position, and one of the tools below him, has by hand picked to fill the GM role...So things aren't going to get better anytime soon...Here are some of the moves...And hey, I found a couple good ones...Let's start there...They traded Casey Blake for Catcher Carlos Santana...He's an average catcher, with a hell of a switch-hitting bat...Sounds just like Victor Martinez...Santana is part of the reason they felt they could move Martinez for some young pitching...Sadly the young pitching the Indians got for Martinez was Justin Masterson, who is below average in every sense of the word...My tee-ball team fields better then this dope...He's an awesome 3-14, with an ERA of just under 5.00 since joining the Tribe!

Then there was Cliff Lee to Philly for 2 pitchers who have struggled in the minors...One has now had 2 arm surgeries...Lou Marson, who is an awful catcher, and can't hit his weight...And average, infielder, Jason Donald, who ruined a perfect game by being called safe when he was clearly out! The biggest problems with these two trades were...They were bad trades...You got shit! And, both Lee and Martinez still had another year on their contracts...They didn't need to rush on these deals...Even though Shapiro had what teams wanted, and was in the drivers seat, he let them push him around...He's an ass! Oh, and don't forget C.C.Sabathia for 3 average minor leaguers!

And people wonder why I've given up hope in this team...Sit down and watch an entire Indians game...It physically hurts...That's how bad they are...

Also in Cleveland...There are so many people just dying for July 1st...They can't wait for free agency in the NBA...These dolts all think LeBron James, and every other free agent are going to sign on that very day...WAKE UP DUMMIES! Not gonna happen...He's making you f**kers wait...And yes, many people feel LeBron is going to stay in the Cleve...I honestly have no idea how people can live in this town, and still think positively...Good luck with that!

Since I'm just beating on Cleveland, let's talk about my trip to the grocery store Sunday...I do most of the shopping...Why not, I gotta cook the shit...She'll just burn it...So I'm there, and I start noticing fat people...Believe me, I've got plenty of extra pounds on me right now, but these people were seriously fat f**kers...The first one I really noticed was this old broad in a wheel chair...She was in it because she was so f**king fat, she couldn't walk...What was she doing...Stuffing her face with about 20 free samples that were sitting outside the deli...Next up for fatty was the bakery...

The last fatty I saw was in one of those motorized carts, and you could just smell the diabetes coming of this guy...Then you look in his cart...I shit you not people...16 six-packs of 20 oz. Pepsi Bottles, a pack of hot dogs, a pound of Ham, and pack of American cheese...Way to fast-track death Chubs!

Now, we come to the point where I talk about my son...The Little Beeze...First, Tee-Ball...The Seawolves are doing well...By my standards we won our first two games...Since they don't keep score, and the whole lineup bats, no matter how many outs are made, and all the other silly rules, I go by how many outs are recorded...In the first game we recorded 4 outs, the other team 1...The second game we recorded 4 again, and they got 2...So in my book, we're 2-0!

Second part about the boy...He can wipe his own ass...BUT...We don't always trust him, so sometimes we check...Sunday he was going a lot...So I told him to call me when he was done, and I'd wipe him, just to make sure he wasn't leaving anything in there...Or on the floor...Or God knows where...So I'm wiping his ass, and he says, "Use a wet one!" (meaning baby wipes) It was a bit messy, so it made sense...Then as I'm wiping his ass, he says, "That feels so good! So good!" So now we know why he was in there so much...The boy is a freak...He must have heard us that time the wife finger popped me in the ass! (Not in a gay way guys!...Not that there's anything wrong with that!)

Now with that, I leave you with an ad for Louis CK's new show that starts Tuesday on FX, right after "Rescue Me"...It's gonna be good!




Have a great week...

Later, The Beeze

The Hump Day Hits

I'm posting this later then I wanted to, but that's the breaks...It's still Hump Day for a few more minutes, so here we go...

I've always been a huge stand up comedy fan...There has been talk for years that Carlos Mencia is a joke thief...Besides the fact that he is playing a character on stage...He's not really the Mexican he says he is...But Larry Cable Guy isn't really a cable guy either...There are countless examples on YouTube of Mencia stealing jokes...Then I saw a documentary called "I Am Comic"...In it Mencia admits to stealing jokes...If he was trying to be sarcastic, it didn't work, because his haters believed every word of it...

How about this example of him ripping a classic Cosby bit....

Here he is ripping off the late Sam Kinison...

And now a bit from Mind of Mencia, that is clearly ripped from the late, and great George Carlin...


Mencia should be beaten within an inch of his life...And I'm not joking...He's a piece of shit, and since he admitted it, in front of a camera, he will most likely be getting sued...

Now in Hockey news...The Chicago Blackhawks have started dumping some salary...They have to do it, but Blackhawks fans can't be happy about the first name they're seeing moved...Dustin Byfuglien, along with Brent Sopel, Ben Eager and Akim Aliu are headed to Atlanta for for the Marty Reasoner, Jeremy Morin, the 24th and 54th overall picks in this years Draft...They're gonna miss Buff!

Now before I go...On this Hump Day evening...Or when ever you read this...Which of these fine asses would you most like to hump?

a.

b.

c.

Let me know what you think...

Later, The Beeze.

Monday Moaning (Fathers Day Edition)

So Sunday was Father's Day...A classic "holiday" they say is for us, but really, it's all about them...When I say them, I'm talking about the kids...It's odd how different Mother's Day is from Father's Day...Yet so much the same...You see here at the Beeze house, on Mother's Day we let my wife sleep in...Sleeping in means sleeping past 8:00AM...9 if you're really lucky...Then we make her a nice breakfast...Then I give her the card and presents I got for her...The kids give their very specially made gifts...Then It is my job to keep them out of her hair all day...I take them out and spend some real good quality Dad time with them, letting my do whatever she wishes...

Now here's how Father's Day went...I got to sleep in...Past 10:00AM...Nice start...The wife made me breakfast...There's a reason why she never cooks besides the fact that I'm a trained professional...She stinks at it...She can burn water...The food was bad...Luckily she said it first and threw hers away...But at least she didn't f**k up the coffee! Then I got a card from the kids...It was an old Valentines Day card I gave my wife...They scratched out what I wrote, and threw their names on it...Then my wife said, "Order yourself cap from LIDS, 'cause I didn't get you anything." But the promise of sex later in the evening was offered up...Then I spent some quality Dad time with the kids...We went to see "Toy Story 3"...It was okay, but then the water works started...They really pulled the heart strings in this one, and both my kids were crying...These two are a couple of emotional nightmares!

After that we went to a Greek Festival I mentioned in THIS_BLOG last week...The kids jumped around in one of those giant inflatable castles...I bought my daughter a bracelet she liked...And when I got in line for some delicious lamb shank, these two start complaining about being tired, and hot, and wanting to go home...I couldn't take the sound of their voices, and gave up on the grub...When we got home they fought over who was going to watch what on TV and about which of their favorite dishes I was gonna make for dinner...I can't believe I'm adding another one of these to my life...

This is how Father's Day should be...Just like the good ole days.....



Just drop and gobble ladies!


Now normally I find a way to mix some sports in to this post, but I'll be honest, I haven't paid any attention to sports this past week...Yeah, the Lakers beat the Celtics for the NBA Championship, but that's old news...Some guys were playing golf this weekend...Haven't a clue what happened...World Cup...Again, haven't a clue...I heard on the radio, that the Pirates drew almost a 100,000 fans to their weekend series with the Indians...I have to laugh...It took the Indians going to Pittsburgh to get some fans in that beautiful park...From what I heard there was a good number of Tribe fans there...Can't get them go to downtown Cleveland, but they'll go to Pittsburgh! I've been watching the Red Sox and Dodgers...Not that we have much of a choice...Can we hype Manny going back to Boston anymore? Let's get back to that lack of choice topic there...

I've brought this up before, but hell, it needs to be talked about more...Every week on the MLB Network, ESPN, and FOX, there a very select few teams that get games shown...1. The Yankees 2. The Red Sox 3. The Mets 4. The Phillies 5. The Cubs 6. The Cardinals...Sometimes the Twins, Angels and Dodgers get mixed in...If the Red Sox are playing the Yankees, the whole series gets on the air...If the Cubs and Cardinals are playing, they get a couple on...Then it comes down to who are the Yankees, Red Sox, and Mets playing...This week, the Yankees are on ESPN Monday night...The Mets are slated in on both ESPN and MLB...The Red Sox also are slated for a couple on MLB...I understand they are major markets, and that they have huge fan bases...But how the hell is baseball going to get more viewers, more people excited, and interested, if they never see their team...Now in the last couple weeks we've seen The Nationals, and whoever they were playing, only because of Strasburg...I have to say, it's nice to see some of the smaller markets on TV...These are major leaguers...There are good players on every team...

Baseball die hard fans everywhere...But I think there are fewer and fewer of those people around every year...If baseball wants to keep selling their product, with it's overpriced tickets, and apparel, they need to stop selling just a handful of teams...Sell us the whole damn league...

Now let's get to this weeks, tweets of the week...

First from a blogging friend...

nutballgazette “I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it”

I feel the same way!

Now my best tweet of the week...This was brought on by a friend asking about my weight loss challenge...

TheBeeze34 "Weight loss not going so well. Pregnancy has killed the mood for the wife, so here I sit at the PC with a bag of Oreos watching porn!"

Guess who didn't get any for Father's Day?

And if you're on twitter, and looking for some good laughs, I get a kick out of this gal...SARKASTICKUNT


Now a Father's Day message from Louis CK...


Watch CBS News Videos Online


And now, I'll close this thing out with Bill Burr...After the Father's Day I've had, I agree with Bill...




That's it for now, have a great week...

Later, The Beeze.

Did You Know? Cleveland Edition

This post is inspired by a smarmy comment made on some one else's blog, about a moment in Cleveland history...The piece was written on the infamous 10 cent beer night at the Old Municipal Stadium...10 cent Back was back on June 4, 1974, and things got Out_of_hand...

So then some Uppity Chicago boy says, "That's sooooooooooooo Cleveland." And I'm willing to bet, that he knows just a couple things about Cleveland, and that's what he's basing his comment on...If you've been here before, you know I'm not the great Cleveland defender, but damn it, at least I live here and Know what I'm talking about, and willing to give the good with the bad...

So here we go...Did you know, on average, Cleveland is Windier than the mighty "Windy City" of Chicago? True!

Did you know that it has been a big misconception that The Edmund Fitzgerald Sunk in Lake Erie? It actually sunk in Lake Superior...But that's okay...We made a beer for it!

Did You know there was professional Baseball in Cleveland before the Indians? In 1870 there was the Cleveland Forrest Citys...In 1879 the Cleveland Blues were a member of the National League...1889 came the Cleveland Spiders...A second form of the Blues became the Cleveland Naps, named for their star player and manager Napoleon "Nap" Lajoie...The team became the Indians in 1915...

Did you know, Legendary Hockey Goaltenders Johnny Bower and Gerry Cheevers played in Cleveland? Bower played for the Cleveland Barons from 1946-1953, and again in the '57-'58 season...Cheevers played for the Cleveland Crusaders from 1972-1976, alongside Cleveland High School Hockey coaching legend Bob Whidden...

Did you know the mighty Cuyahoga River caught fire on June 22 1969? Of course you did...Everyone knows that one...But did you know, this was not the first time that the river had caught on fire? Fires had also occurred on the Cuyahoga River in 1868, 1883, 1887, 1912, 1922, 1936, 1941, 1948, and in 1952...The famous pictures they always show of that famous 1969 fire, are actually from the 1952...

The one in '69 was a great deal smaller...It's okay, we made a beer for it!

Did you know that after taking down notorious Chicago crime boss, Al Capone, Eliot Ness came to Cleveland and became the City Safety Director...He was going to clean up the police department, and then move onto the real criminals...Sadly he career ended in Cleveland as he became known as the 13th victim...Ness was put in charge the gruesome "Kingsbury Run Murders"...Also known as "The Torso Murders" Checkout In_the_Wake_of_the_Butcher if you like true crime books...12 decapitated, dismembered bodies, only two victims identified, and no clue who did it...Ness never got past it, and after all those years at the Bureau of Prohibition, Ness became a raging alcoholic...He died in 1957 and his ashes were dumped in a pond, in Cleveland's Lake View Cemetery...

Poor bastard...We made a beer for him too!

Did you know that Chef Michael Symon isn't the only f**king Chef in Cleveland? Hell he isn't even the best...Checkout Pete_Joyce...Rocco_Whalen...Marlin_Kaplan...For starters!

Did you know one of Cleveland's big Greek Festivals is going on this weekend, and I'll be there stuffing some lamb in my gob! Oh, and drinking some fine Cleveland Beers!?!

I could go on, but I think I'll save it, and do another one of these...

Later, The Beeze.

Hump Day Hits

I have no real reason for this picture, other then it cracks me up...I mean, damn! You women and your vagina hold all the power, and us men, we just have to take it...Think again!

Not in Seattle...A big news story I caught wind of last night via twitter, was a Seattle Police Officer punching a woman in the face...I'm sure some people are screaming racism...He was white, and she was black...The tweet I saw said, "Seattle Cop punches woman for jaywalking."

First, the woman he punched wasn't the one he was trying to deal with...She was resisting, and another woman stepped in...A man tried to pull her back, but she pulled away and got between the Cop and the first woman...When he had enough of this bullshit, he blasted her in the face...



You know, what? I'm on his side...Hell the woman he was first trying to deal with, was lucky she didn't get popped in the mouth too...Of course there were about 10 people there with their camera phones out, and people are yelling at the Cop...Hey, why not yell at the dolts trying to fight the cop...Believe me, the police are a little easier on you, when you don't start shit with them...Welcome to equal rights bitch...You swing on a cop, he swings back!

Now, since it's hump day...You can only choose one...Which of these sexy school girls would you most like to hump?

A.

Or...

B.

Later, The Beeze.

Tuesday Night Frustration

So Monday's post included some of my frustration about my son's Tee-Ball league, which I'm also a coach in...Well the frustration just grew a little more...Tonight was a scheduled practice...The rec department schedules a couple practices at the start of the season...2 teams practice together, there are stations setup to work on fielding, hitting, and running the bases...It a good beginner thing for the kids, and the coaches...But...

1st problem...A couple parents sent there kids without their caps and shirts...Not a huge deal, but the color coded caps help the kids (5 year olds) know who is on their team...Helps me too! After practice, I asked the one mother who has two kids on my team, if she had picked up their caps and shirts from the rec center...If not I could get them for her now...This twat comes back at me with the bitchiest tone, and said, "It's just practice, I didn't know they needed them today!" Now maybe I just think logically and others don't, but bitch, you have a copy of the schedule, and it shows two teams on the same field at the same time...To me it just makes sense to throw the cap and shirt on the kids...But I played nice, and said, "It's no problem, I just wanted to make sure the kids got their stuff." Her twaty tone perked up again with a, "Well, they did!" Her poor f**king husband must think about eating a gun every night...He's probably seen the R. Budd Dwyer VIDEO and thought, 'he probably didn't feel a thing.'

2nd problem...The woman who runs the baseball programs for the rec is very nice, and works well with kids, and probably gets paid squat, but this everyone one wins crap is just awful...Today my team, The Sea Wolves were out there with The Flying Squirrels...(All the team names are minor league names)...After the practice was done, she had all the two teams line up, and they had a relay race...As I said Monday, I'm not the ultra competitive dad, but if you win, you win, if you lose, you lose...Not here folks...The Sea Wolves beat the Flying Squirrels by about 6 steps in the relay...Afterwards she says, "Guess who won?" The kids, on both teams yelled "THE SEA WOLVES!" This chick says, "EVERYONE!" Oh for the love of God lady, take a cue from the kids...They know who won, and the kids that lost didn't care, they were just as excited at my team...REDONKULUS!

So after we got home, i gave the little Beeze a bath, then sat down and watched some of the Indians vs the Mets...The Tribe was 4-1...Then the infield started playing worse then my Tee-Ballers...Hey Masterson, little Lilly on my team can make that trow to first! Valbuena, the little beeze knows to cover first on that bunt...WHY DON'T YOU? Then the wheels came off and the score was 6-4...The Mets won 7-6...

So I figured maybe I'll watch the President's speech about his plan for dealing with the oil spill...That should calm me down...This could have been one of those moments that Presidents have...He could have shown us the leader we want to see in our Commander in Chief...Instead, he played it safe...I'm appointing this guy to this...I'm appointing this guy to that...I'm starting a Blue Ribbon Commission about this...What's with all the Czars? What the hell is this Blue Ribbon Commission...Are we judging the best cow, or biggest pumpkin contest...NO! We're making the world's largest batch of Vinaigrette! Grow some stones! He said BP will compensate people for their loses...Are they? Prove it! Sorry, I just don't believe BP...

There are numerous people that have gone down and volunteered to help with the cleanup, that are getting seriously ill, because BP officials are telling them not to wear masks, respirators, and safety suits, 'cause it looks bad...All this speech has done, is help prove that ever President in my lifetime has been in bed with Big Oil...Why not? They clearly know what they're doing!

Okay, off of that soapbox...

Now, before I go, let's play a little, Today in Baseball History...

Today in 1938 John Vandermeer of the Cincinnati Reds pitched his second of two consecutive no-hitters, beating the Brooklyn Dodgers 6-0...The first was a 3-0 win over the Boston Braves...


This no-hitter against the Dodgers was done during what was the first night game ever at Ebbets Field...

That's it for now...

Later, The Beeze.

Monday Moaning

Last week I wrote about how I feel Baseball is dying...Well I may have found the root to this problem...Tee-Ball! My journey into coaching has started and I have to say, What the f**k!?! My God Tee-Ball has changed over the years...I'm not liking these rules...Back in my day, we used wood bats...You're still able to use them, but most don't...Well the Beeze's Sea Wolves will be using wood bats...These kids are gonna be cock strong! But that's not the real problem...The real problem is some of the rules...You can make outs, but there's no 3 outs and it's the end of the inning...Nope, the whole lineup bats, then switch...That goes on for 45 minutes, then game over...Then there's the no running on an overthrow...WHAT? They want you to play 8 infielders and 4 outfielders...Luckily I don't have to do that nonsense since my team and most the others only have 10 kids...

Don't get me wrong, I'm not the ultra-competitive Dad, crazy asshole parent...I know, it's Tee-Ball, and it's about introducing the kids to Baseball and the fundamentals, but they seem to be taking some of the fundamentals out of youth sports these days...This is another example of the pussification of our youth...At the end of the year, everyone gets a trophy...Listen, when I played, only the winners got trophies...1 year we won it all, and got a trophy...The next we didn't, and we got nothing...That's ball, and that's life...But now everyone needs there kids coddled...They all need to be winners...Guess what? THEY AREN'T!!! You're setting them up for a devastating blow when they get older, and they lose, and they get nothing!

I'm going to do my best to teach these kids some fundamentals while having fun doing it...I'm not trying to take the fun out of this, but damn it, they need to know which of my 8 infielders covers 1st base if the first baseman needs to field a ball!

Moving along...Stephen Strasburg came to Cleveland this weekend and helped the Tribe sell some tickets...The kid looked good again, but he looked a little more human...He actually walked 5 batters, and ONLY struck out 8! Now the pitchers mound giving out on him may have helped that a bit, but when you're a Cleveland team, you gotta do whatever you can to try and win...Which they didn't! On a side note, Indians outfielder Trevor Crowe, who has been one of the many highly tauted prospects in the organization, has spent the last week proving the hype wrong...He has botched 3 fly balls so badly, it looks like Ray Charles is playing Center Filed for the Tribe...I never thought I'd actually miss overrated Grady Sizemore...

Quick NBA update...The Celtics took a 3-2 series lead over the Lakers...Now they head back to LA for games 6 and 7 if needed...I hope the Celtics just take game 6 so I don't have to see Anymore basketball for a few months...

Don't ask me about the World Cup...I have no idea what the hell is going on there...But clearly The New York Post knows something I don't...

Last time I checked, a game ending with a 1-1 score was a tie...So either the New York Post is f**king stupid, or soccer is...Maybe both...Can some one help me with this?

College Football has been crazy this past week...This team is going here, that team is going there, where the hell are those teams gonna go...At first I was annoyed by it...Now, I'm seeing a possibility of something good...Let's say, the Big-10, Pac-10, SEC, and ACC swallow up the rest of the Big12 and the Big East...4 super conferences...This could help lead to an actual playoff format...Of course you throw the smaller guys like the MAC, Mountain West, Conference-USA a slot each...Just an idea...What you think?

Now, this weeks tweet of the week...(You may not want to click the link if you're at work!)

"Alexa_DiCarlo: WARNING: If you DON'T want to see a video of a very rough BJ w/ lots of hard face slapping, DON'T click on this! http://bit.ly/cX1CBM "

Clearly, I'm a bit of a perv...Bouncing around online I find all kinds of stuff...Sometimes I hit those special sites...Once in awhile I'll watch a CUCKOLD video...I was watching this one, but the mood got ruined when the Cuckold puke...



I know some one was worried they were about to watch some freaky porn!

Speaking of which...Saturday night I was out with some friends, and if you know me, the conversation always ends up on sex...A friend there is the same way, and we had great time drinking beers and making people uncomfortable...There's nothing more honest then some real, down and dirty sex talk...When it comes to talking openly and honestly about sex and relationships, there's no one better at it then Patrice O'Neal...



That's it for now gang...Have a great week...

Later, The Beeze.

Why Baseball is Dying...

Yeah...That joker is a big reason why....Bud suffers from permanent, cranial, anal, insertion...


And lately these guys haven't been helping much lately either...The Joyce call wasn't the only bad one this season...Hell it wasn't the only bad one that night...This season has been full of bad calls, and pissy umps tossing people at the drop of a hat...

And no matter what people say...This kid isn't gonna save Baseball...

The reason for this blog, well it all started with Umpire, Jim Joyce being a dolt...Followed by Bud Selig being a dolt, which Bud being a dolt is par for the course...I have read countless blogs, and articles on the blown call...I have disagreed with many, and voiced it on many...Fell free to check out some great blogs at YouGabSports ...(shameless plug)

So I thought I should take some time and let my temper cool down, and then post my thoughts...
Baseball is something very special to many Americans...Hell I would even say that's true of myself...There's something about Fathers and Sons, and Baseball...Learning other sports is easy compared to learning Baseball...It's just different...As Tom Hanks said in "A League of Their Own"..."If it wasn't hard, everyone would do it. The hard is what makes it great."

But now it seems we have less and less kids interested in Baseball...Hell, we have less and less adults interested in Baseball...There are numerous reasons...We live in a 24/7 instant media world...We get everything quick...Baseball is slow...In general, we have gotten lazier...There are more and more kids growing up without fathers, or at least growing up in a household without two parents there...TV and Video Games are the babysitter too often...Kids don't get outside and play like they use to...When I was a kid, the whole damn block was warming up in front of our houses, then we'd all head to the park and play for hours...F**k now you gotta get a permit from the city...'screw it will play the video game instead of the real thing.'

But it's not just social issue, or an economic issue...Major League Baseball hasn't done much to help itself...And these people that call themselves Baseball Purists, they need to get the hell out of the way...They fight everything that could make the game better...They fought against the wild card...Holy shit, the wild card has made baseball so much better...It actually keeps a few more teams in the hunt, and gives the playoffs a little more excitement...They hate the DH...Well many of us hate pitchers going up there and swinging like Nancie's...(yes there are some that can hit a little, but not many)

Now the big fight is against Instant Replay...It's being used in limited, home run situations...But after the Joyce blown call, many people, like myself, want replay to be able to be used in close plays...The purists hate that...Them, along with Selig, are in love with "The Human Element"...If you can fix the mistakes from "The Human Element", why not use that technology...It makes the players and fans happier...Why wouldn't we want that? Every other sport has replay...Why is it so hard for baseball...This is just another thing for baseball to drag it's feet on...You could limit it like they do in Football...You could add another ump to the crews rotation, and each night there's an ump in the booth that handles the replay...That way the umps aren't losing any of their power, and it's not some suit looking over their shoulders...But the purists just want to stay in the dark ages...

After Joyce's blown call, that cost Armando Galarraga a Perfect Game, there was an outcry for Selig to change the ruling...Of course he said NO...And the Purists didn't want it changed either...It would open a can of worms...Then people would want them to go back and change a bunch of old blown calls, and that can't happen...Oh, except it did...Did you know at one time, there were 48 perfect games in the MLB record books...But then e=they went through with a fine tooth comb, and overturned more then half of them...Right or wrong, they did it...So let's stop acting like overruling a umps shitty call would be the end of the world...

I have a friend, a fellow blogger, who is a teacher, when writing about the Joyce call, explained how he used the incident in the classroom to teach the students some life lessons...I thought that was very cool, even though I didn't agree with all his points...His final point was this..."It doesn't really matter if Joyce called him safe. It doesn't matter if it isn't in the record books either."

I 100% disagree with that...Baseball has always put so much stock into it's numbers, and it's record books, that has been what they have always prided themselves on...So there is no way, that it doesn't matter to a pitcher who just got screwed out of a perfect game...And it should matter to us as fans too...Players get their accolades and get into the Hall of Fame based on their numbers, and what's in the record books...So it's only okay to change the books sometimes?

Do mistakes happen...Yes, in Baseball and Life...If we have a chance to fix mistakes in Life, we take it...Baseball should do the same...If for no other reason, then to save Baseball...Because Bud, and tight ass purists, are holding it back, and pushing people away...Baseball lost it's purity long, long, ago.

That all said, I can't wait to watch Strasburg strike out 20 Indians on Sunday!

Now before I say goodbye, look at this deliciousness...

Later, The Beeze.

The Blackhawks Just Won the Stanley Cup...Now What?

Congratulations to the Blackhawks and their fans...And thanks for taking care of those dolts in Philly!

Yes, The Chicago Blackhawks won the Stanley Cup last night...But a word of advice...Don't waste too much time celebrating...Chicago, you've got a lot of work to do before your title defense...

Now you may be asking, "Beeze, what the hell are you talking about?'

I'm talking about the Blackhawks being in serious salary cap trouble...What you think you can lockup Kane and Toews, Keith, and sign Hossa to a 12 year deal and everything will be okay...Not gonna happen Johnny!

First the 'Hawks have to find a way to unload that horrible contract they gave goalie Cristobal Huet...He's on the books next year for $5.625 million...WHAT?!? If they some how manage to dump that piece of crap, they will have only $4.8 million to try and keep this thing going...First they have to worry about restricted free agents like goalie Antti Niemi...You know, they guy who's been playing instead of Huet...Forwards Andrew Ladd and Ben Eager, Jack Skille, Colin Fraser, and defensemen Niklas Hjalmarsson, and Jordan Hendry...

If they do dump Huet somehow, they'll have to look for a solid backup, unless they actually feel safe with another young goalie backing Neimi who can be shaky at times...So most likely, Chicago will have to move a player or two...Possibly Bolland, Versteeg, or even Sharp, to free up some money and fill holes...The Blackhawks put together an excellent team...Great drafts, and some nice free agent signings...A great mix of talent, speed, skill, physicality, defensive awareness, but it's going to be hard trying to keep it going for more then a year or two...

Later, The Beeze.

Monday Moaning

Sorry for posting so late...As some may know, blogger was down for a large number of random people, but it looks like it's back up and working now...So here we go...

The above picture shows how I was feeling Sunday after too much Dortmunder...I was afraid I would feel the same today...For another reason...Today was 1st ultrasound day, and I've been having an uneasy feeling that there may be twins growing inside my wife...Luckily there is only one child in there, and everything looks normal they say...You know, as normal as an alien life form growing inside your wife can look...

-

Now, let's get to some sports...

This past week I planned on posting on a couple topics, but I got side tracked by Jim Joyce being a dolt! Then of course Bud Selig was his typical self, and unwilling to do the right thing...I've gone off on this topic on a few other blogs in their comment section, so I'll try to stop beating this dead horse...At least until I get pissed at baseball again...

Speaking of dead horses...Okay so no horses died at the Belmont Stakes Saturday, but I wouldn't have been broken up if the ones in my losing trifecta, ended up at the glue factory...The winning horse was Drosselmeyer...Both the Derby winner, Super Saver, and Preakness winner, Lookin At Lucky, were not in the race...Ice Box and First Dude were the favorites...Ice Box shit the bed...First Dude, and his stupid name finished 3rd, and Fly Down, who I had a few bucks on, came in second...The Belmont didn't have much hype, and wasn't a thrilling race, with the exception of the final stretch...

In other news, Brad Pitt has joined the board of directors for a U.S bid to get the World Cup in either 2018 or 2022...Let me first start by saying...WHO CARES! This is America...If you play soccer as a kid, some high school coach will convert you to a sport that people in this country actually care about...Second, Brad, why don't you and that big-lipped, gash wife of yours, go adopt another kid, from another country, hire a couple more nannies to take care of it, so you two can get back to bad movies...(yes, I know he's had a few good ones, but I chalk that up to the writer and director!)

For the record, no matter how much ESPN want to hype this World Cup crap...I'm not watching...I'd rather head down to Sully's and watch the paint dry!

Now to more important shit...Sunday night the Chicago Blackhawks took a 3-2 series lead over the Flyers...I hope they can finish Philly off...The Flyers have shown some serious grit throughout the playoffs...Also, Niemi, the Chicago goalie...Holy shit does that kid have some holes in his game...He's often out of position, and spends more time on his knees then a $20 hooker! No matter which teams wins the Cup this year, the winning goalie my be the worst to win the Cup...Which I guess says a lot about the talent and depth on both teams...

But I have to say it has been an exciting and entertaining Stanley Cup Final...I hate to give the Flyers any credit...I can't stand that prick Pronger, never have...And I think I have made my feeling known about Philly over the years...But in case you don't remember, or this is your first time reading me...When it comes to Philadelphia, my feelings are similar to Bill Burr's...




In the NBA Finals, the Celtics evened up the series at 1 game each...Holy shit Ray Allen was one fire in the first half, wit 27 points..He finished with 32...I was paying more attention to the hockey of course...Now the series goes back to Boston for 3 games...I hope the Celtics take all 3, but I expect them to have win it in LA...

Last week there was a lot of talk about LeBron James staying in Cleveland...Him saying Cleveland is the front runner...Talk of Chef Michael Symon offering to cook dinner LeBron and friends and family once a month if he stays...First, that's just silly! Second, Symon isn't even the best chef in Cleveland...He's an overrated douche!

Now as for "the King" staying in Cleveland...Well I know the Cavs hope so...I'm sure LeBron is the main reason for Mike Brown and Danny Ferry being out of work...But I doubt that, and chef Symon's famous mac-n-cheese are enough to keep him in the Cleve...

Last week I shared some of my favorite tweets from the week on twitter...This week I'm going share just one twitter account...All the tweets are basically the same...But some one taunting BP like this cracks me up...

Spill_Updates

Since I'm on the oil spill topic, here's a link to a site that puts the spill in an interesting perspective...

http://www.ifitwasmyhome.com/

Now, before I leave, I have a question to ask...Which is worse? Waking one of your children by celebrating a 13th inning walk off home run while playing MLB The Show...Or...From bumping uglies with the wife?

There's nothing like your 8 year old daughter walking in on you and saying, "Excuse me, I can't sleep." The next day she told my wife, "I thought I had a dream that you were riding daddy like a horsey?" No, that was no dream, and thank you for killing the mood!

I get my T-Ball team and first practice Monday...We'll see how that goes!

Have a great week...

Later, The Beeze.

Jim Joyce is a Stupid F**king C**t

Yes, even Indians shortstop Jason Donald thought he was out...Because he was! Jim Joyce, you stupid f**king C*nt...Joyce just stole a perfect game from Tigers pitcher Armando Galarraga...I have to say, I am amazed that Galarraga didn't beat the living shit out of Joyce...I know calls get blown sometimes...But not this badly...

He beat the runner by a full step! Holy shit Joyce! You Suck balls!

This is proof that Major League Baseball desperately needs instant replay...At least in when it comes to a close safe/out call...Which by the way, this wasn't even close...That video was the Tigers feed...I had the Indians network on...They were even more pissed...I'm still in shock...This could have been the third perfect game this season...There have only been 20 in the history of baseball...

Listen, if it's close, you call the guy out...It's a f**king perfect game we're talking about...If I was in the Jason Doanld's shoes, I would have said, 'No, I'm out.' and would have walked off the field...

Joyce had better hire some private security to get out of Detroit...Within minutes, the Internet became F**k Jim Joyce land...Many blogs got out there before this one...YouTube videos...Twitter is blowing up all over Joyce...Oh, and he's got a fun new FACEBOOK page!

I was gonna write more, on a few other topics...But I'll get to those tomorrow...Tonight is "Jim Joyce is a Stupid F**king C**t Night"

Later, The Beeze.